Girlie Bits

A guy can go without grooming himself and be considered manly. Women? Well we have to keep up with our maintenance a lot more diligently. I know that far too well because if I don’t visit my waxing lady on schedule, my eyebrows will resemble those of Martin Scorcese. Great director he is, sexpot he is not.

This afternoon after braving what could be considered slush falling from the sky during the walk to my eyebrow wax appointment, my spa fears were confirmed. My waxing lady, mid wax, decided to share stories about other customers’ poor grooming habits south of the border. Full on tales about brazilian waxes that took way too long to complete because they required the use of lawn shears.

I was horrified. Not because the customers who came to her had the gall to wait and wax when their nether regions had grown to the length of Brad Pitt’s beard. And not because one of these women actually asked for a mini Brazilian when she could be nicknamed Pippi Longstocking. But because since I started waxing my legs several years ago I wondered if the aestheticians talked to each other about the hairy customers that came through their doors. The last thing I wanted was for them to look at me when I walked in and whisper that when I miss an appointment my legs resemble a Yeti.

I just never expected the waxing ladies to ever tell another customer the strange things other customers are happy to share with their waxing lady. Waxing is just so uncomfortable to begin with. And I don’t even get into those contortonist positions that some of my friends are told to get in.

Hearing all the information about her other customers was uncomfortable also. And while she’s always been great to me (probably because I shower before getting waxed unlike some of her customers) I will now start to feel self conscious going to any waxing appointment from now on. Because its one thing for someone at a salon to see and comment on my Pointe shoe ruined feet (over the years I have let that fear go) but its another for my neighbor to go to the salon and hear all about my bikini wax.


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